Step2

We did it. We traded in our mid-sized vehicle for a van. A van that seats 7 people comfortably! I think I swore to the powers that be that I would never purchase a van. I would never be the parent who lets their house turn into a huge toy room. I would never adjust our daily life for our children; they would have to fit into our schedule.

Even as I write that, the Mommy in me wants to laugh at myself for even having those thoughts. Yes, I am sure that there are some of you out there who have been able to achieve this, and my breast pump is tipped to you. For those mere mortals, like me, who find it easier (and even empowering) to just roll with the path of least resistance, can I get a “H.E. double hockey sticks yeah?!?!”
If I were able to have a conversation with my LBK self (live before kids) I imagine it would go something like this.

LBK Tena – “Wow, you bought a van. I thought you were way to cool for that. Aren’t you embarrassed driving around in such a huge soccer mom mobile?”

Now Self – “My van rocks – we have enough cup holds for water, pop, energy drinks and bottles! Milk wipes so easily off of the leather interior and the dual climate control for the second row of seating keeps everyone comfortable and happy. You should envy this van.”
LBK Tena – “You sure do have a lot of toys for Myles.”

Now Self – “It may look like he has a lot of toys but they are just strategically placed throughout the house. The box in the kitchen, those are the toys that distract Myles while he is eating. He loves to figure things out and I can get him to eat a full container of yogurt in about 2 minutes while he is pulling the hippo out of the ball that we shoved into that box. We are creative. Aren’t you impressed with my creativity?”

LBK Tena – “I cannot imagine why you are always late.”

Now Self – “You should be amazed that I made it at all. Myles slept in 30 minutes longer than normal and that threw the entire day off. We had to put his shoes on about 3 times before he actually kept them on and I had to make four trips back into the house because I forgot things that we needed. You try getting ready 2 hours before you leave to ensure you make it out the door and still show up with a pony tail for your hair do.”

Before having a family I only thought of all of things I would have to give up; my car, my time, my space, my life. The truth is that I have so much more now it doesn’t feel like I’ve given anything up. Don’t get me wrong, some days I miss staying in bed as long as I want, making dinner plans hours in advance instead of weeks in advance, or having walls that don’t need to be scrubbed every day from flying food. The reality is I wouldn’t trade one minute of my life now for one second of my LBK.

So, for all of you who rock your swagger wagon, adore your messy toy filled house, and are impressed by your ability to put a little mascara and lip gloss on and make it out the door with your child fed, napped, bathed and clothes, this clip is for you (it’s an oldie but a goodie).

About Tena

Tena and her best friend (and hubby) had their first child in July, 2011. Their little guy has a congenital heart defect and he is one tough little cookie; don’t ever think about calling him sick though – “his plumbing is just different.” Tena is an animal loving vegetarian and is excited to teach her son about compassion and the importance of volunteer work. She secretly hopes her son will be left handed like his momma. She is the Online Marketing Director for Step2.

Having managed Step2’s Customer Service Department for over 19 years, I have learned the importance of age recommendations, safety guidelines, parental supervision and warnings outlined in product assembly instructions and oftentimes displayed on cartons and products.  Much research and testing (both internal and third party) goes into determining this information.   The majority of incidents involving children reported by consumers generally occur when children are unsupervised, not age appropriate for the product or recommended guidelines not followed.

This recently hit home with me when I learned that my precious granddaughter was hurt riding on her first “foot to floor” ride-on toy.  The product involved was age appropriate however, clearly noted on the box was the statement that shoes should be worn while playing with this product.  Since the product is used indoors and my son and his wife have a “no shoes worn in the house” policy, my granddaughter was in her bare feet.  Unfortunately, my son did not see exactly how the injury occurred as he was in the kitchen and she was right outside the kitchen door, in the hallway.  He was alerted that something was amiss when his daughter suddenly let out a loud yelp followed by many tears.  Luckily, it was not a serious injury however she did bruise her foot.  (She showed grandma her “boo boo” in our last Skype session.)  This resulted in a trip to the pediatrician’s office and then on to the hospital for a recommended x-ray.

Having raised two boys myself, I learned quickly that toddlers need constant supervision.    It only takes a split second for a mishap to occur.  As much as we want our children to be independent, the younger years are not the time to be concerned about independence as there is plenty of time for that.  And of course, we all think our children are smarter, more advanced or bigger than average and suitable for toys beyond their years.

Please know that I did not lecture my son for lack of supervision or for not following the “shoe” rule – I’m sure he beat himself up plenty without my help. Although, I did say that little girls are more fragile than boys and he agreed.  All parents go through situations like this at some point or another.  It is just a reminder that during those tender toddler years when they are exploring and innocently trying new things, it is important to keep them in full view.

Sharon became a first time grandma in February of 2011 and had the pleasure of celebrating her granddaughter’s first birthday in San Francisco where she lives with her oldest son and his wife. Sharon welcomes the opportunity to spoil her granddaughter after having raised two boys. Sharon is an avid lover of the arts and has dabbled with oil painting and enjoys interior decorating as a hobby. She is the Customer Service Manager for Step2.

Prepping for high school, my Mom was quick to warn me about peer pressure; what it is, why I didn’t need to give in, and how to avoid it altogether.  I survived those years and while I’m certain that from time to time I was a victim of group think mentality, for the most part, I was my own person and confident in my decisions.  Recently, I have found myself wishing I could tap into the confidence I had as a 14 year old, defending my decisions that 14 year olds are presented with, and apply them to the personal decisions I’ve made in my parenting style.

The decisions that we all must face as a Mom are so difficult and they start from the moment of conception.  I remember constantly comparing myself against the acceptable standards of “normal” on so many things:

• When is the right time to share my happy news?
• Should I find out the gender or wait?
• How much weight should I be gaining?
• Natural birth or epidural?

We all know that it doesn’t stop once your child has arrived either.  I find myself measuring against others in terms of childcare decisions, healthy food choices, TV or no TV, the right way to put my son to bed…it never ends.  Not only are there so many choices about how to raise our children it seems like there are so many people out there with opinions on what is right for our children.

One thing is for certain, no two Moms are exactly the same any more than two children are exactly the same.  As I consider the impossible standards and endless judgments that I feel are constantly being placed on me, I have to wonder if they are real or imaginary.  I had never considered this possibility until recently.

Last week, our inbound call center phone lines were down here at The Step® Company and I spent much of my afternoon fielding questions via Facebook.  One Mom had quite a few questions so I offered to pick up the phone and give her a call (after all, our outbound lines were working).  While on the phone, she was so apologetic for her children in the background.  I tried to reassure her explaining that I completely know how it is, I am a Mom too.  After changing a DVD for her little one, she followed up with, “After this we will have learning time”.  When she offered her children a snack of peanut butter, she followed up with, “Do you want some natural peanut butter and whole wheat bread”.  Just when I began to judge my poor decision of having served processed PB & J to my son the night before I stopped myself and developed a new internal dialogue.

What if this Mom was worried that I was judging her for putting her kids in front of the “dummy box”?  What if she thought I was horrified at that thought of peanut butter with sugar and additives?  Of course, neither of these thoughts had even crossed my mind as I was too busy measuring myself against her superior parenting tactics.  I will never know for sure if her comments were for my benefit, for hers, or if neither were at play.  But what I did decide after that conversation is that it doesn’t matter.

I’m doing the best for my kids just as she is doing the best for hers.  Just as I know it is not my right to judge others most people aren’t out there judging my decisions either.  If they are, then good, I’ll give them something to talk about.

Last night, as I went into my son’s room to grab some PJ’s (not while I was putting him to bed, because, “gasp” – he still sleeps with us) I smiled as I read the quote I’d strategically placed over his closet.  In the words of the great Dr. Seuss, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

About Tena

Tena and her best friend (and hubby) had their first child in July, 2011.  Their little guy has a congenital heart defect and he is one tough little cookie; don’t ever think about calling him sick though – “his plumbing is just different.” Tena is an animal loving vegetarian and is excited to teach her son about compassion and the importance of volunteer work.  She secretly hopes her son will be left handed like his momma. She is the Online Marketing Director for Step2.

Written by Sara R.

My youngest son Christopher, who is 14, is the only member of our immediate family that is left-handed.

I started reading a few articles on left handed people and found some very interesting facts. Here are just a few (there are some negative facts out there but I prefer to focus on the positive):

• Only 10-15% of the population in the world is left handed
• Four out of the last seven U.S. Presidents are left handed
• Left-handed people are more likely to pursue creative careers
• Left-handed college grads go on to become 26% richer than right handed grads
• August 13th is known as Left Handed Day
• There are grants and scholarships for left-handed people

Christopher’s personality fits that of a left-handed person. He’s creative, artistic, independent and a quick thinker. Some famous people who are left-handed include Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi (one of Christopher’s favorite people), Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Mozart, Beethoven, Paul McCartney, Prince Charles & Prince William and Bill Gates, just to name a few.

I never gave it a second thought about how different it must be for him and how it can be quite frustrating at times. I do, however, set his place at the table with the napkin, fork and glass on the left side.

Last year for his Christmas gift we purchased a left-handed bow because he loves archery. We had a hard time finding one.

Lefties are usually better with hand-eye coordination. That explains the reason he won the archery championship in summer camp this year! ?

When I sat down to interview Christopher on what he felt was an annoyance, if any, being left-handed, I wasn’t prepared to hear what he had to say. He started off with “Well, my first grade teacher tried to get me to write with my right hand. She would make me stay in for recess, put a pencil in my right hand and have me write the alphabet. Once I was finished, I could go out for recess”.

Wait! What?! Are you kidding me? She really made you do this?? UNBELIEVABLE! “Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” I asked. He replied, “I didn’t think it was a big deal because she only had me write the alphabet once and then I was allowed go out for recess.” It seems this happened every day for half the school year! He quickly commented that when she compared his writing from the first time he did this exercise to the last that there was no improvement in his right-handed writing.

He also went on to tell me when he was in 7th grade one of his teachers would criticize him for leaving two inches to the left of his paper. Christopher did this because he said it was more comfortable to leave some space for his hand when he had to write from a spiral notebook. Writing is a bit of a challenge for Christopher because he tends to drag his writing hand across the paper which in turn smudges his letters.

He might be left handed but he is all right with me. I read somewhere left-handed people are “a special expression of God’s creativity.” I totally agree!

Written by Tiffany

Three years ago, when Alex was in daycare, one of the other mothers commented that she believed her son’s packed lunch had been mixed up with Alex’s lunch.  As a result, each child had consumed the other’s lunch.

When I asked her why she thought the mix up involved Alex’s lunch, she quickly said, “Because I don’t feed my child things from a can.”

I rather dryly replied, “Oh…and clearly you think I do.”  I watched as she shifted uncomfortably and turned from pink to a bright red color.  Usually, I go out of my way to make sure people don’t feel uncomfortable.  However, in this case, I was okay with her discomfort.

She had no idea that I had once taken a Lunchable, removed the packaging and put the cheese, crackers and meat in separate containers to avoid violating the overpriced daycare (I mean child enrichment centers) “no Lunchables” rule.  She didn’t know that I had mentally fist pumped the air because of my cleverness at besting the school.  The idea of her commenting that I would pack a canned item for my child (clearly, I would disguise it in other packaging) was too much!

My mom did an excellent job of always making sure my older brother and I ate healthy meals.  She fed us low-fat and low sugar cereals, made sandwiches on wheat bread and had us drink two percent milk long before these items were in vogue.  She chose Jif, because hey, that’s what “choosy mom’s” chose.  Actually, Jif was about the only brand named item she purchased but that’s a story for another day (the tagline swayed her).  She always made sure dinners were balanced.  We didn’t really know what dessert was.

I do my best, but my cooking skills are somewhat limited.  It’s not that I can’t cook because, as my mom says, anyone who can read can follow a recipe and cook.  It’s just that I’ve chosen not to build my skill set in this area.

I live vicariously through cooking shows.  Alex enjoys watching them with me (Hell’s Kitchen and MasterChef are favorites – I think he likes Gordon Ramsay’s charm).

As a result, I could successfully fool you into thinking I could cook and was a “foodie.”  My “training” has taught me how to toss around expressions like “flavor profiles,” comment on the “sear” of meat, and remark on “knife work” with the best of them!

Lest my son be deprived of experiencing different foods, when we dine out we play a game called “taste test” based off of the popular “Hell’s Kitchen” challenge.  I have Alex shut his eyes and then feed him something.  He then has to guess what it is.  By playing this, I have been able to get him to try many foods that kids typically shy away from.

Once he has tried something, I’ll buy it and we’ll try cooking it at home.  Cooking together has become “our thing” and we have cool Iron Man “chefs” aprons.

A few days ago, Alex and I made perfectly seasoned and cooked Tilapia (nice crunchy crust), steamed broccoli with a light cheese sauce and a stunning rice.

Gotta love Gorton’s and steam fresh veggies.  Foodies beware!

About Tiffany

Tiffany is the mother of a curly haired six year old boy who wants to be Batman when he grows up! When she is not engaged in an intense light saber battle, watching Transformers (cartoons and movies), asking her child not to jump from the top step or being told, “you’re playing action figures the wrong way, mom” she contemplates how wonderful it would be if her child were a twin or triplet.  Tiffany is the Human Resources Manager for Step2.

Written by Sharon

Having been a single parent raising two sons, I beam with pride watching my oldest with his daughter.  What a wonderful father he has become.  As a teenager he would often complain that he had become too sensitive being raised solely by a woman.  I would assure him that someday, someone would really appreciate that trait.  Well, that time has come.

Single parents often get a bad rep. I found a great article outlining some of the positive effects that I had found to be true despite the hardships that often exist:

Parents tend to develop strong bonds with their children that do not end when they turn 18 but continue to evolve into their adult years.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, “It takes a village to raise a child”.  This is even more evident when extended families and friends step up to help out.

Shared responsibilities versus token chores to earn an allowance are a necessary contribution to the family.  This in turn teaches children the value of their contribution and pride in their own work.  I am reminded of a time when I went on a grocery shopping strike (they were both older and driving) because they didn’t like my idea of the three of us taking turns with this weekly task.  They, being stubborn teenagers, held out until the cupboards were literally bare.  Once they gave in they started to enjoy the task as they could pick up some of their favorite things.

Children learn to handle conflict and disappointments early in life.  These can be valuable growth experiences resulting in them becoming more sensitive, empathetic and caring adults by helping them to express and deal with their emotions.

Children learn to balance their own needs and wants with those of the family.  They receive the assurance that they are the parents priority however not treated as though they are the center of everyone’s universe.  They learned early on that mom needed her alone time, even if it was to lock myself in the bathroom for a long bubble bath.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope. In my case, I became a single parent. I am proud to say that with a lot of hard work and perseverance I was able to raise my boys to be happy, healthy and responsible adults.

About Sharon

Sharon became a first time grandma in February of 2011 and had the pleasure of celebrating her granddaughter’s first birthday in San Francisco where she lives with her oldest son and his wife.  Sharon welcomes the opportunity to spoil her granddaughter after having raised two boys.  Sharon is an avid lover of the arts and has dabbled with oil painting and enjoys interior decorating as a hobby.  She is the Customer Service Manager for Step2.